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Dying happy
WHAT WILL YOU REGRET WHEN YOU DIE?
25 January 2015

I remind you that you will die! This is one of the few absolute certainties we have. I do not know when it will happen, but it is very likely that when you're dying, you will regret some important things you've done or have not done in your life. It's worth thinking about this, in order to design our life plan to avoid the maximum possible regrets at the end of the way.

Bonnie Ware was an Australian nurse who spent many years working with patients who were in their last 12 weeks, and recorded and scored all statements made by these people before dying, publishing them in a book entitled "The top five regrets of dying". I remember them in order to keep them in mind every day when we are living the present and when we are planning the future:

1)    I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret. At the time of dying they recognized that they had not attempted to pursue almost none or very few of their dreams. And now they had to die knowing that they were primarily responsible for their own decisions. They realized they should have risked more to live the life they really wanted.

2) I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

Most thought they had lost much quality time to be with their children or wife/husband, or to live intensely personal experience, having spent too much time earning money to pay for things that were not so important.

3) I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many felt they had repressed her true feelings for convenience, to avoid ridicule or have any conflict with others. And this had made them settle into a mediocre existence, away from the life they really wanted.

4) I wish I had been more in touch with my friends.

In their last moments,they realized the lack of his friends, and regreted not having taken better care of them, not being more generous, not having forgiven more, not having solved unresolved conflicts, and not having spent more time with them.

5) I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Surprisingly this regret was very common. They realized that happiness is mainly a choice, and they had been tied to parameters or certain traditions that had made them feel comfortable, but far from their true emotions and desires. Fear of change and responsability made tem living far from true happiness. A large majority said that if they would live again, they would be more brave taking more risks.

Tell me simplistic, but I think these five regrets can be summarized in one: Most people regret at the end of their days, not having taken responsibility for the leadership of his life, being conformed to do what it seemed corresponding to them, or what life was offering them, renouncing to take risky and sincere courageous decisions to follow the path they really wanted.

No matter how old you are, any time is good to stop and think about what things you regret actually from your existence, and decide what you're going to do from now on, to change or achieve what you intend to live your life, in order not to have to regret too much the day you're about to finish your days.

Tags: death
Comments
Lila
22 May 2015
21:45 H
Hello, I remember few years ago, I watched a program showing a study that was done in several countries (Okinawa, coast of the US, south of Italy) and the study was about longevity. Why in specific places, people would live longer than in other places. Well, the study reveals that after having discussed with old people that their secret was simply "faith" and accepting life and this had made them happy. It was not about healthy diet or pills or sports...and there was this woman, an american, old, who was talking about her husband who passed away several years before. She kindly said that they live happily, accepting what life was offering them, today her husband was not there but she was happy that she will join him soon. Faith was the answer, in God or in another spiritual entity or other, accepting destiny. When we look deeply into all spiritual paths, we should pay attention to the very deep teaching. Going back to ourselves, getting rid of the ego, living the present always as it will be our last day, being kind to ourselves, to our family, to our friends, to all human beings and to nature (like budhism and Islam mentions, the world is sweet and green and he has made you the guardian of it" Kuran). So, we wake up saying, thank you, I am healthy, we walk saying I have everything I need, we offer smiles, we share our love so we can get more in return and we forgive ourselves and others.
Arcadi
30 January 2015
23:09 H
Quan la tornem a liar?
Rafel Galán
25 January 2015
20:44 H
Tots tenim un componen de la nostra vida sumergit en la mediocritat i transitar per aquest a indemne tambè te la seca dosis de valentía. Penedirse del que has fet es tornar a restar temps a la resta de la teva vida, pararse a pensar el que no has fet es construir un nou futur mès motivador i engrescador.
Transita per la vida i disfruta de cada moment i no pensis que podía haber estat millor, de la mort no cal pensar, ja vindrà i serà com tingui que ser, tu poc podràs fer quan vingui, aixó si, viu fins l'ultim alè.
quim morera
25 January 2015
20:24 H
Hola Albert.

Es muy cierto. Todos solemos decir que nuestro mayor deseo en la vida es ser felices, pero pocas veces actuamos en consecuencia. A veces lo vivimos como un simple deseo.

Ser feliz requiere de esfuerzo y de sacrificio. Saber decir no a muchas cosas.

Es un plan que hay que trazar y seguir a diario. La felicidad no se encuentra. Se construye.
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